I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
