Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
