Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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