he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
