I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
