you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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