dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
