I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
