I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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