He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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