so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
two words...techno handjob
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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