White coat. Heels.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
