He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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