their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
