Sry I called you an 8
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
