ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
