I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
