Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
