Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
