She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
