First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
