and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
