Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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