are you so shy because you have an std?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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