I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
