I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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