He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
