A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
