Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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