my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
