Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
