Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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