i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
