I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
