May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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