I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
