You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
