Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
