the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
