Someone shit on the floor
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
