1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
