yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
