If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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