You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
