If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize