I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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