I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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