I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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