roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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