How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
