Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
love makes seman taste better
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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