my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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